I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
