WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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