dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
