are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
