So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
tell me about the fingering
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
