he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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