fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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