After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize