She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
