Moan for me like Helen Keller
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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