I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
it's like heaven, but drunker
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
