Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
