At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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