yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
