i can't believe i had my finger in that
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
