Small penises have feelings too.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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