i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
