Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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