When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
