Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
