So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
