I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
