Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
