...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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