How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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