you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
