I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
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