i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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