I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
