Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Randomize
