I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
