Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
