I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
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I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
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Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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