whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
