ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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