Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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