i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
