I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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