I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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