She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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