Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
