bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
home. puking in laundry basket.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
