I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
