I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
