my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
