drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
