And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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