i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
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