i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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