I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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