Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." ๐ ๐๐ท
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
