I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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