I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize