me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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