I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Sext me about skeletons
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
