Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
