So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
we made out on top of his cat.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
