none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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