just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Let's get the cat blown out
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
