I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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