why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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