Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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