butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
