omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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