Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
