all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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